


I will surround you

by sebos



Category: Electronic Dance Music RPF
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Sad, big gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebos/pseuds/sebos
Summary: Porter has an ever growing attraction to his best friend and he doesnt know how to handle it





	I will surround you

Porter felt himself almost suffer from a heart attack when his friends hand brushed up against his as they walked. He wanted so badly to just reach out and lace those graceful fingers with his but the thought made him want to throw up. Two years the two boys had known each other and they quickly went from acquaintances to best friends. They had gotten so close to the point where they felt such a strong emotional connection with each other and decided to celebrate it through creating an album together that would be the embodiment of their personalities. Through the struggles of realizing his own style and trying to figure out who he really was, Hugo had stuck with and supported him the whole way. The whole process had Porter come to terms with the fact that he was falling in love with his best friend and each passing day just made it worse. From the stolen glances they shared on tour when they were younger to watching each other fall asleep on the plane to and from their own homes Porter had cherished it all and it made his heart happy, but knowing Hugo might never feel the same is where the pain came from. Hugo had not once displayed any sort of attraction towards anybody let alone to his best friend. There were some things that Porter might count at flirting that Hugo did but that was mostly just him wishing it was. From fear of ruining this amazing bond they had Porter never dared open his mouth to say anything about it and he'd rather die than admit how he felt. Hugo was a loving best friend and that was about it, and if he had to go the rest of his life dealing with his one sided attraction then so be it. 

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to hold my hand." Even with such a quiet voice is startled Porter. It was comments like that that made Porter second guess everything he thought about his friend.

"I get it though, it's very cold. The weather is always so odd in the summer," Hugo continued when Porter didn't respond. Porter had learned that Hugo hated silence so when Porter didn't speak up Hugo would just keep going and honestly he could listen to his friend talk for hours. Between the accent and the fact that he was just an interesting person to listen to, Porter had no problem keeping his mouth shut sometimes.

"Yeah what's with this backwards ass country huh? It's July and it's fifty nine degrees out and it’s been raining all week." He tried to play it cool but every time Hugo got a little too close he felt his hands shake with nerves. The two of them were currently walking back to Hugo's house, they were currently taking a break from working on their album so Porter could see where his friend spent his childhood. They had just gone out to dinner where Porter spent most of the time staring at Hugo while he wasn't looking instead of eating his own food. He was mostly trying to distract himself wanting to reach over the table and hold Hugo's hand like they were on a date. They had been in France for a week now and he wanted to do that every time they went out it was driving him insane. Porter needed to get it in his head that this was never going to happen and he needed to stop torturing himself. But the more he heard Hugo's laugh and saw the way he looked at him the more he was dragged in. 

They finally made it back and Porter held the door for his friend as he walked in. Hugo's parents weren't to home for the duration for Porter’s stay and that made him more anxious. Sitting alone on Hugo's couch with him made him feel like a sneaky teenager and he wished there was some sort of parental figure to keep him from getting too close. But instead they ended every night with sitting a little too snuggly together on Hugo's single bed and watching a movie on his laptop. Most of the time Hugo would fall asleep and his head would lull over to Porters shoulder, trapping him there for the rest of the night because he didn’t dare move and disturb his friend. But honestly that meant he could fall asleep to the sight of Hugo’s peaceful sleeping face which he didn’t mind at all, if only that feeling of wanting to run his hand through his hair would go away…

The two of them went upstairs and took turns going into the bathroom to change for the rest of the night. Porter put on sweats and a t-shirt while Hugo came out of the bathroom wearing a shirt and his boxers which he had just started wearing to bed recently and Porter of course felt the need to comment about it to distract his thoughts from going somewhere they didn’t need to.

“You’re literally going to freeze all night, and you have no meat on those bones to keep you warm.” He laid in the bed and pulled the laptop over so he could go through the list they made of movies to watch. 

“I guess you’ll just have to keep me warm then,” Hugo said, flopping down onto the bed next to his friend. Porter felt himself start to sweat. He didn’t need to be thinking about flirting right now with Hugo pressed up so close against him. 

“I don’t have to do anything, that’s why you sleep with two fucking blankets every night,” Porter retorted. Hugo just laughed and nodded. The two of them got comfortable and Porter just threw on whatever movie was next on the list because it’s not like Hugo was gonna stay awake for much longer and Porter never paid attention anyway. And he was right, literally ten minutes into the movie Porter felt Hugo lightly twitch next to him which was the first sign that he was asleep. Honestly if it wasn’t a little bit frightening he would have thought it was cute. He enjoyed gazing at his friend for a few more seconds until a loud crack of thunder was heard outside and the older boy jolted awake, almost head-butting Porter in the face and pushing the laptop off the bed. 

“Christ calm down, you almost knocked me the fuck out,” Porter grumbled, fixing the laptop back on his lap. 

“I’m sorry that was just so loud, I got scared,” Hugo said apologetically. Porter felt bad for getting a little mad because Hugo did actually look sad about it. Now that he thought about it Hugo did seem to tense up a little when it stormed the previous days. They waited for Hugo to calm down and get settled again before Porter turned the movie back on. With how close the other boy was Porter could literally feel his heart still beating rapidly, he must have still been scared. He swallowed nervously and turned to face Hugo a little,

“Ya know, if you’re still feeling upset I can like…put my arm around you. Just to make you feel better I mean,” he offered. He was pretty sure Hugo would decline because honestly he couldn’t remember the last time he intentionally laid a hand on his friend. Sure sometimes they sat close to each other but they’ve never actually touched each other, Porter wasn’t sure if that was normal for friends or not. 

“Really? Well thank you Porter that’s really nice,” Hugo took the offer and curled up closer to his friend who put his long arm around his shoulders. The positioning was kind of awkward but Porter was just basking in the closeness they shared. That was until Hugo shifted and Porter’s arm fell down to his waist. He tried to move it back but Hugo put his head on the other boy’s shoulder and mumbled,

“No its fine.”  
Porter just said nothing and kept his gaze focused on the screen in front of him. Was this normal? Was this a things best friends did? Lay in bed together practically cuddling? I mean he was just comforting Hugo that was it. Sure he wished he could look at his pretty face without worrying about being caught and lean in and share a kiss but Hugo didn’t share the same desires. Right? At this point Porter was starting to second guess everything. Maybe Hugo did want the same things, but maybe he just had a hard time showing it? He didn’t know what to think and it made his head spin. 

“Mm the rain makes me so tired.” He heard Hugo say as he curled up more, he was probably going to fall back asleep soon. 

“Go ahead and go to sleep I got you,” Porter said, reassuringly rubbing Hugo’s sides.

“You’re going to stay here right?” 

Porter smiled to himself.

“Yeah of course, I mean where else would I go?” He heard Hugo let out a breathy laugh.

“Thank you.” A soft snoring followed shortly after. Porter reached up and flicked the light switch before folding up the laptop with one hand and sliding it onto the floor. The more he thought about his feelings for his best friend the more his chest hurt, especially with him being so close right now. To have the love of his life right next to him and not be able to tell him how he felt was the worst pain he’s ever experienced. Except, maybe he could. Hugo was a heavy sleeper so even if he did admit how he felt it’s not like he would hear it, and the pressure of keeping everything in would be alleviated off his chest. At least this way he could at least pretend he told Hugo and he rejected him instead of having him actually reject him. Yeah that wasn’t stupid and heartbreaking at all. Porter sat in silence for a few more minutes listening to Hugo breath just to make sure he was really asleep before turning to face the other boy. It turns out facing him just made Porter more nervous so he settled with just staring at the ceiling. 

“Hugo I…” he immediately starting tearing up, this was so much fucking harder than he thought it would be. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, he needed to stay quiet. 

“I-I think about you a lot. I think about how cute your smile is and how I can’t help but smile too. I crave being next to you often, we don’t even be touching. Just the closeness of being next to someone I adore is enough to make my heart happy. It makes my head spin thinking about how our friendship has grown so much and how were so drawn to each other. It feels like a dream come true to have met someone like you who I share every interest with and everyday feels like a new adventure as we learn more about each other that we didn’t even know about ourselves.” The tears were beginning to sting his eyes and he felt out of breath. 

“You’re so talented and funny and nice to be around I can’t imagine feeling this way about anyone else. And honestly I don’t want to feel this way about anyone else. Which is what makes this hurt the most. I may never get over you even when we’ve gone our separate ways and that’s ok. I never want to get over the feeling of having you close in my heart. And…you don’t have to love me, but just know that I love you.” At this point he couldn’t keep himself from hiccupping. He’s never cried like this before it was starting to scare him, he was in this a lot deeper than he thought. He had to leave, if Hugo saw him like this he didn’t know what he’d do. Porter slowly and carefully snuck out of the bed and left the room. Before he knew it he was almost tumbling down the stairs and out the back door. It took all of his strength not to topple over onto his knees. So he stood there in the pouring rain, hands clenched into fists and heart beating loudly over the sound of thunder. Everything hurt so much, his eyes, his chest, even his legs. He was so overcome with emotion he wished he kept his mouth shut. He was an idiot for ever falling for his own best friend, and he was an even bigger idiot for thinking Hugo would ever go for a mess like him. Hugo deserved the world and Porter could never be that much for him.  
The harder it rained the heavier Porter’s body felt. He wanted nothing more than to sit on the ground and pull his knees to his chest but he should probably just get over himself and go back inside. His breath hitched when he felt a pair of arms surround him. His legs felt weak.

“I’m so sorry.” What? Before Porter could say anything he felt Hugo tense up.

“I’m so sorry I made you feel this way. I…I love you so much I never meant to hurt you. I just should have told you how I felt. I was just so scared and-“ Porter had never heard Hugo cry before, it was heart breaking. He felt like such an asshole, of course Hugo heard him spilling his guts why would he think he wouldn’t. And now here Hugo was crying because he was so concerned that he upset Porter. Hugo cared so much about him and that alone made Porter want to start crying again. He gently pushed Hugo’s arms down so he could turn around and look his friend in the eyes. Hugo’s hair was a mess, his glasses were tilted to the side and his eyes were red and puffy from crying. Porter wanted to punch himself in the face. 

“Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t do anything. I literally tortured myself and I’m the one that should be sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you properly and making us have to do this,” he motioned towards where they were standing. 

“And if it’s true, what you just said. Then I would like to try this again,” he took Hugo’s hands in his. He felt like he exhausted himself earlier and Hugo had already heard all he had to say.

“I-“ he was cut off by Hugo wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. Porter’s immediate reaction was to put his own arms around Hugo’s waist and melt into the kiss. He felt like he was dreaming. It was over as soon as it began and Porter found himself wanting more. He legs wobbled and he felt dizzy but it was an amazing feeling.

“I love you too,” Hugo said, running one of his hands through Porter’s hair.  
Then there was a loud boom of thunder and Hugo pressed himself against Porter for comfort who just held him tighter. 

“Can we please go back inside? I just…want to be in your arms right now” Hugo asked quietly. Porter nodded.

“Yeah, of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is rlly bad idk what im doing
> 
> drop some requests over on my tumblr if u want  
> https://pwssyboy.tumblr.com/


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